We live in an age where the notion of chivalry has become something of a dirty word. I think that this is because the concept is misunderstood.

When people hear the word chivalry, they think of helpless, powerless, defenseless, and, perhaps, pathetic women, protected by strong in-control men. Which is to say, the idea of chivalry has become nothing more than a synonym for chauvinism. That’s unfortunate, because it’s completely incorrect, and reduces a sense of respect and honor to nothing more than chest beating, and reduces women to nothing more than objects on which we can demonstrate our superiority.

Chivalry is, instead, “bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry”. Those first three words are one that I think we’re familiar with, although “bravery” has been redefined by Hollywood and CNN to mean shooting people who don’t shoot back. Gallantry means “nobility of spirit or action.”

If these words are too overloaded to be helpful in 2009, perhaps it would be good to summarize like this: You are not the most important person in the universe. Keep that idea firmly in mind, and you’ll find your reactions towards other people altering in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

What the folks in the Middle Ages got wrong was that these attitudes should be demonstrated only towards persons of moderately high rank, while it was ok to treat the unwashed masses as scum and not quite human. In our enlightened age, ideas of caste and rank have merely rearranged, not gone away.

We have a culture of systemized sexism and racism. That it stems largely from gross misinterpretations of the notions of chivalry is unfortunate. I’m hardly suggesting that we go back to a time of knights, and denying women the right to speak, vote, or work. I’m suggesting that we men who have retained some scrap of respect for our fellow persons, take it as our duty to be the ones to stand up and say that what’s going on isn’t ok. That when remarks are made that marginalize a subset of the population – whether that’s based on gender, race, religion, or preference for funny hats – that we are the ones that speak up and ask that they apologize and stop being troglodytes. That when we ourselves say or do things of this same nature, that we have the courage to apologize.

And, sure, hold the door for someone. It’s not going to kill you.

We got an ad in the mail this week offering us membership at a local gym – Urban Active – for $19.95 a month, and no monthly contract. It prominently said that there would be no pressure, no intimidation, blah, blah, blah.

So we went over there yesterday, with our membership fee in hand, so that we could sign up and get a little back in shape. The moment that we walked in, we were handed over to a high-pressure salesman who brought out two very long contracts. About a minute into this, it became evident that we were going to have to pay $50, each, up front, in order to sign up. When we showed him the ad, which said $19.95, he rather contemptuously dismissed it, saying “there’s always a signup fee.” When we got up to leave, saying that this really wasn’t what we had come for, he started bringing out the better deals that he could offer us, if we would only stop and listen.

Is it really so much to expect that an advertisement mean what it says, and there not be huge additional fees when you go to purchase the product? I hate buying a car, because nobody is ever honest about the pricetag. Other businesses that operate the same way, likewise, make me very reluctant to even try to buy. The only reason that we decided to go over there was that the advertisement was very clear, and impossible to misunderstand. Or so we thought.

So, if there’s actually a gym around here that clearly advertises a price list, and doesn’t have a bunch of hidden fees, maybe we’d be interested. At least the YMCA lists rates clearly, without a bunch of “oh, I can get you a special deal” when you threaten to walk out.

Perhaps it’s naive to expect businesses to mean what they say, however, it’s a naiveté that I choose to hang on to, and insist on. If you can’t tell the truth about your product or our prices, then you don’t get my business. I plan to be much more intentional about this in the future, and simply refuse to shop at places that won’t clearly put a pricetag on things, rather than attempting to judge how much they can weasel out of me.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have noticed me mention, in the last few days, a loonie by the name of MikeeUSA, who posts all sorts of anti-woman things on his website.

This morning, he posted a comment on this website, having apparently made a connection between me and the attempts to shut down his filth, not to mention the reports to the FBI.

Inciting violence is a crime. Inciting murder is a crime. He is doing both on his website, and isn’t at all shy about it.

I encourage you to contact the owners/managers of pressword.com to get this guy shut down. That contact information is:

DARCIS JEAN
+32.25371947
jean.darcis@skynet.be

I encourage you to contact law enforcement, and let them know the kinds of things that he is promoting. Namely, murder of high-profile women in the Open Source community, rape, and violence against women. One good place to start that process is here: http://www.ic3.gov/complaint/default.aspx However, your local FBI office would be good, too.

I have not published the comment that he made, because I really don’t care to have that kind of stuff on my website. However, accompanying the comment was the following contact information:

http://mikeeusa.pressword.com/
programmer@yahoo.com
212.42.236.140

It is, of course, reasonable to presume that the email address is bogus. The IP address is in Berlin, which of course doesn’t necessarily mean that this individual is in Berlin, but it’s certainly a possibility.

Just to be clear, “MikeeUSA”, this is not about, as you say, “speaking against your beliefs”. I do, indeed, think your beliefs are objectionable. This is about you committing crimes in several nations, inciting violence and murder, and generally promoting views that lower you to the state of a wild animal rather than a man, as you mistakenly claim yourself to be.