While driving through West Virginia, we saw enormous signs that encouraged us to call 1-800-492-tips for terror tips. I’m not entirely sure what this means. I presume it doesn’t mean what it sounds like – ie, that I could get some good suggestions from them. Or even that they’re looking for good suggestions. ‘Cause I have a few.

I didn’t quite have the nerve to do it. I don’t imagine they have a sense of humor.

But, if you do call them, make sure you record it.