My httpd.conf is better than your httpd.conf

<_Lewellyn> my httpd.conf is mostly rewrtierules :/
<Morbus> my httpd.conf is mostly comments.
<DrBacchus> my httpd.conf is on my LDAP server.
<Morbus> i converted my httpd.conf to xml.
<Morbus> and i have a sweet xslt converter.
<Morbus> its all very transparent.
<DrBacchus> I converted mine to Swahili and MS Word documents.
<Morbus> i converted mine to the new .net Word XML.
<DrBacchus> Mine’s all in braille.
<Morbus> Mine’s in invisible ink.
<DrBacchus> Mine is in semaphore flags.
<Morbus> Mine’s in boolean.
<DrBacchus> Mine is in Morse code
<Morbus> Mine’s on a punch card.
<DrBacchus> Mine is in American Sign Language.
<Morbus> Mine is administered by Corky from Life Goes On.
<DrBacchus> LOL
<Morbus> <G>
<DrBacchus> Mine is in dog barks – the ones that did Jingle Bells on that terrible Christmas album everyone has.
<Morbus> lol. yeaaaah.

The transcript speaks for itself.

Why did I think the UN was a good idea?

In the northeastern town of Bunia (northeastern DRCongo, that is) 400 or so people have been killed because of the terrible crime of being in the wrong tribe. (Yes, “tribe”, not “ethnic group.” I’ll try not to get sidetracked.) Meanwhile, 1000 UN troops, under the somewhat absurd name of “peacekeepers”, are there. Apparently they are watching. This is the bit that’s unclear to me. They are peacekeepers, but they are not authorized to intervene. Exactly how does one keep the peace without intervening?

Meanwhile, in the hallowed halls of the UN, France is recommending that we send more peacekeepers, who will presumably keep the peace just as effectively as the ones that are there. They think that it will take these additional troops more than 2 months to get to Bunia. Yes, it is difficult to get to Bunia, I’ll gladly grant that. But 2 months? Are they planning to drive from Paris?

I’m becoming increasingly unclear why I used to think that the UN is a good idea. I suppose it could be, if the veto was not quite so frequently used, and if the UN actually did the things that it said it was going to do, rather than standing around meekly hoping that their presence is enough. Seems that the US spends billions of dollars each year to support an organization that is ineffective, and, to a large extent, works against our interests.

The cause of keeping global peace is a noble one, and I’m all for that. But if keeping the peace means that 1000 well armed men (with shiny white tanks even!) stand around while 400+ civilians are brutally raped and hacked to pieces, then I’m not real sure that we have the same notions of what peace looks like.

Fear and danger? Never!

CNN.com – U.S. rejects Amnesty charge – May. 29, 2003

The U.S. has rejected an accusation from Amnesty International that the U.S.-led war against terror is sowing fear and danger in the name of global security.

OK, so I haven’t read the 311-page document, but, yes, it is clear to me that the US is sowing fear and danger in the name of national security. Oh, did they mean in other countries? I must have misunderstood. I thought they meant here in the good old USA.

Apparently some other folks think so too. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Of course, I’m being flippant – the abuses going on in the USA are paltry in comparison to the sorts of things that go on in other countries. But, in a nation that was founded on the notion of freedom from tyrany, it is a profoundly troubling trend. Stuff like the Alien and Sedition … um … I mean the Patriot Act really makes me wonder if certain people have paid any attention at all to the lessons that history is supposed to be teaching us.

Well, as The Brain said, when Pinky asked why Brain had hit him on the head, “Time will tell, Pinky, Time will tell.”

Scanners, CompUSA return policy

CompUSA has a “open box” return policy. If you open the box, then you can return it for cost – 15%. Or you can return it for a gift card for the full amount. So, in the process of returning my scanner (yes, I’ve completely given up on scanners for the moment) I discovered the way around this.

Step one. Purchase item
Step two. Return opened item and get gift card.
Step three. Purchase another item of similar cost.
Step four. Return this item unopened for cash value.

Don’t tell them I told you.

Chevy Impala

Rocinante is in for a little unscheduled maintenance (Something about a cataclysmic conversion. I dunno.) and I am driving a Chevy Impala. Given that the last Chevy Impala I drove was roughly the size and shape of the USS Eisenhower, this car has been quite a surprise.

First of all, it doesn’t feel like it is moving. I’m sure that car types have fancy terms for this, but at 80, it feels like my Jeep at about 45, and at 45, it feels like it’s going about 10. (That’s mph, for you metric folks. I think you’re supposed to double it and add 30, or something.) Now, I presume that folks that like this sort of thing say that that’s a desired feature, but when I’m cruising along at 45, and suddenly realize that, in fact, I’m going 80, that’s a bit alarming. I like to know I’m moving.

Secondly, I was very impressed with the Jeep dealer service place. They looked up my VIN, and knew that I was under warranty. That, combined with the amazing ability to diagnose the problem by listening to it, and I left there knowing that I would not have to pay anything for the service.

Next, they called Enterprise car rental, and when I got there, I discovered that the dealership was paying for my rental, too, which I had not realized at all. However, I had to pay tax. So I’ll end up paying $1.85 to get my cats converted, which seems like a pretty good bargain to me.

Oh, yeah, the stereo. It turns the volume up the faster you go. Which is strange, since the ambient noise level does not increase much. And, considering that loud music makes me drive faster anyway, this is a feedback cycle that is moderately dangerous if you’re not aware that it is happening. But, fortunately, nobody died.

Scanner on Linux, Anyone

And, speaking of things which annoy me, I’m about to return the third scanner that I have bought, brought home, and discovered is not supported. Two of these scanners are listed as supported, but SANE doesn’t find them when I plug them in.

Yes, I expect I could spend 5 hours tinkering and get it to work, but I don’t have the patience for that sort of nonsense, and, besides, that would probably result in something that sort-of worked, most of the time. And I *really* don’t have the patience for that.

Can someone please tell me what scanner I should buy, if I just want to plug it in and have it work? Am I really going to be tied into the $200+ range to get something that will work out of the box? That would suck, but I’d rather know that now than go through the entire inventory at CompUSless one at a time.

It would probably be faster to write down their inventory, and bring it home to compare against the supported list, since the list is 31 pages printed, and I don’t particularly want to print it all out.

I look forward to the day when hardware manufacturers are aware of Linux to a sufficient degree to mention it on the box, ship drivers, and mention it on their web site.

mod_auth_mysql? Anyone?

I’ve spent the last half hour trying to find mod_auth_mysql, and I’m getting very irate.

There appear to be two main mod_auth_mysqls out there. One was written by Zeev Suraski, and abandonded in October of 1998. The other was written by Vivek Khera, and abandonded some time in summer 2001.

From each of these, there are several forks, resulting, I assume, from folks that like the code, but needed it maintained going forward. I don’t think I’ll list all of these.

And, to further muddy the waters, MANY sites contain a partial mirror of Zeev’s site, including mod_auth_mysql version 2.20, which released in 1998, and contains at least one well publicized security problem.

The most promising versions out there appear to be the version on sourceforge (http://modauthmysql.sourceforge.net/) and the version maintained by Debian (http://ftp.debian.org/debian/pool/main/liba/libapache-mod-auth-mysql/, with additional information at http://packages.debian.org/cgi-bin/search_packages2.pl?keywords=libapache-mod-auth-mysql&searchon=names&version=all&release=all)

For those upgrading from earlier versions, note that that Debian version derives from Zeev’s code, while the SourceForge project derives from Vivek’s code. It would be nice if each *CLEARLY* stated this in the documentation, or even in the primary project description, to ease the upgrade path. And perhaps even pointed off to the other project somewhere in the docs.

All of the folks keeping up a page with Zeev’s stuff are not doing anybody any favors. And modules.apache.org … well, there’s a topic for another day. We really need to do something about modules.apache.org. Soon.

Oh, and I should mention that if you are using Apache 2.0, you should take advantage of the new authentication framework, and use mod_authn_dbi, which you can get at http://open.cyanworlds.com/mod_authn_dbi/

“Take a picture at Starbucks” day

I don’t know what to think about this. Evidentally, Starbucks feels that it is a violation of their copyright if you take a picture in any Starbucks store. This strikes me as so utterly absurd, I’m almost inclined to drive right down to the Starbucks in Lexington and snap a few pictures.

Optical mouse

I finally got so fed up with my mouse that I went and bought a Logitech optical mouse. The difference is absolutely astounding. The movement is smooth, regardless of the surface it’s on. It doesn’t get hung up on rough surfaces or inconsistencies in my icky ancient mouse pad. And, best of all, it glows an evil red color when you touch it. What more can you ask for?

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The Margin Is Too Narrow